Right! For no reasons i don't know why i'm so jealous about certain things Thank god this is gonna be my last ladies night. Cos next week will be february and i'll be offically working. Doubt i can do zouk as usual like how i've did the past two months.

I'll definitely gonna miss it. But i think it'll do me good. All i want now is to settle down and hopefully i can do well in my career. Though it's too early to say now but i'll definitely try my best.

Everything shouldn't have start in the first place like seriously. FML! There's no one to blame but me,myself and i. I shall not rant about it anymore. The more i rant the more jealous i'll get for sure. So yupp! I hurt badly. And it's more than enough for me to take. I can't take another blow. If there's another one coming along i think i'll just be fucking depressed and go bonkers.

One S is enough. I don't need another one. Like what i've said. Once is enough. I don't think i'm ready for another relationship. If i ever got another one, i think i can fucking kill myself alive like seriously. This is no joke.

I just bleed myself dry to know that i'm still alive. I'm sober enough to do such things to myself. But sometimes i just gotta numb it in order not to feel the heartache. Party doesn't make me happy. Babe kong can tell it all when i met her outside zouk. I really appreciate those huggs and words from her. From that moment i just felt abit lost.

I really wanna thank god for giving such good and supportive friends who never fail to be there for me. I always try put up the strong side of me cos i didn't want people to give me those unwanted attention. I know sometimes after party i just break down and weeped like a baby girl. I can't help it but just gotta let it out. I reallyreally appreciate for those who stand by me at that point of time. You guys are not forgetten. I love you guys manymany.

Receiving a call from S when i'm on my way out i don't feel good at all. My thought ran wild. I thought he miss me that's why he called me. And i think she saw the wrong person. That's the worst shitt too. I don't know. I reallyreally can't take another blow.

All i have to do now is just to be strong. I can't be that weak anymore. I'll just bleed myself to know that i'm alive will be good enough.

Alright! Enough said. Gonna take a fucking hot bath and take a power nap before half day of work tomorrow followed by shopping with my beloved aunty.

xoxo,
fuckofffromyoursight.

Daddy the blur sotong. Woke me up at this hour and told me it's time for work. I fell asleep like an hour plus ago. Now i can't get back to sleep. This is so NICE. ):

Zombie at work tomorrow again. booooooo!

I'm still very tired. S came acrossed my mind. I miss him bad. ): I'm gonna tell myself i can do it. Yes! For real.

D's word hit really hard on me. He asked me why am i shutting myself up? I'm speechless when he asked me that. He's the first person who asked me that question.

Yes! Going to zouk every week i do make new friends. I turned them down for dinner,movie, coffee. I even told some of them i'm attached. I do not know why the fuck i said that. Some of them are really good catch. I just can't be bothered with anyone of them.

To me, they're just annoying pest. Ohh yeah! Haven't use pest for the longest. I'm learning to be smart now. Don't wanna get hurt anymore. I'm hurt enough.

My eyes are half open now. I should go back to bed now. Daddy says he'll wake me up later. Going breakie with him before work. I love you,daddy. ♥♥♥

xoxo,
fuckofffromyoursight.

I can't believe i'm under stress. Stress that i'm giving myself and no one to blame. I'm just thinking too much. So what if i miss you like mad? So what if i wanna have dinner with you for the last time and never want to see you again? There's so manymany so whats and what ifs.

I'm just trying reallyreally hard not to think much about it. I want to lead a normal like. Sleep and wake up early. Why does it seems to be a very diffcult task for me to do so? I woke up early for work today cos i'll be accompany daddy for his monthly checkup at sgh. Went back after that and worked overtime. Got home so tired and actually fell asleep right in front of the telly. FML!

And now it's fucking four-twenty in the morning and i still can't sleep. I driving myself to death man. RAHHHHHHHH! Looks like crappyshitts is the place where i can turn too and pen down my thoughts here. I'm so busy till i didn't even talk to anyone. Yes! I would say every single one of them.

I need retail therapy to make me happy and at least to feel a tiny weeny bit better. I've finally cut down on frosty. So proud of myself. The next thing i'll be cutting down will be alcohol. I wanna be a healthy bitch. Time to hit the beach too. Have yet to visit wavehouse. Yadah! I know i'm sucha noob. ):

Actually, cos i don't have anyone to go with me. I need to find someone to go with me. I'm missing sun,sand,sea,electro and beer on the beach. It's time to start planning when i'll be free to go.

Alrighty! I should force myself to bed now. If not i'll be a walking zombie at work later.

xoxo,
fuckofffromyoursight.