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Thursday, 28 January 2010

  • JEALOUS.


    Right! For no reasons i don't know why i'm so jealous about certain things Thank god this is gonna be my last ladies night. Cos next week will be february and i'll be offically working. Doubt i can do zouk as usual like how i've did the past two months.

    I'll definitely gonna miss it. But i think it'll do me good. All i want now is to settle down and hopefully i can do well in my career. Though it's too early to say now but i'll definitely try my best.

    Everything shouldn't have start in the first place like seriously. FML! There's no one to blame but me,myself and i. I shall not rant about it anymore. The more i rant the more jealous i'll get for sure. So yupp! I hurt badly. And it's more than enough for me to take. I can't take another blow. If there's another one coming along i think i'll just be fucking depressed and go bonkers.

    One S is enough. I don't need another one. Like what i've said. Once is enough. I don't think i'm ready for another relationship. If i ever got another one, i think i can fucking kill myself alive like seriously. This is no joke.

    I just bleed myself dry to know that i'm still alive. I'm sober enough to do such things to myself. But sometimes i just gotta numb it in order not to feel the heartache. Party doesn't make me happy. Babe kong can tell it all when i met her outside zouk. I really appreciate those huggs and words from her. From that moment i just felt abit lost.

    I really wanna thank god for giving such good and supportive friends who never fail to be there for me. I always try put up the strong side of me cos i didn't want people to give me those unwanted attention. I know sometimes after party i just break down and weeped like a baby girl. I can't help it but just gotta let it out. I reallyreally appreciate for those who stand by me at that point of time. You guys are not forgetten. I love you guys manymany.

    Receiving a call from S when i'm on my way out i don't feel good at all. My thought ran wild. I thought he miss me that's why he called me. And i think she saw the wrong person. That's the worst shitt too. I don't know. I reallyreally can't take another blow.

    All i have to do now is just to be strong. I can't be that weak anymore. I'll just bleed myself to know that i'm alive will be good enough.

    Alright! Enough said. Gonna take a fucking hot bath and take a power nap before half day of work tomorrow followed by shopping with my beloved aunty.

    xoxo,
    fuckofffromyoursight.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

  • YAYNESS!


    Omfg! I can't believe i got myself i proper full time job. Wooohooo! I'm kinda afraid and at the same time i'm very nervous. I don't know why am i feeling this way. But hell yeah, i'm gonna be a working adult in just a few days time. I can't fucking wait. Thank god, i'm starting on february. It's e shortest month outta the whole year. Hopefully, it'll be good start. (:

    Can't wait to clear my debts, get ink and holidays. Ohh my! I'm so excited.

    S spoilt my whole tuesday making me feeling damn moody, angsty and pissed. "Why you like don't bother anymore?" - If i bother about you, will you bother about me? I seriously don't know why he have to ask me this question. Deep down i bother, care and still love him. I just gotta be strong and live with it. So what if i'm praying hard that he'll come back to me. It seems to be so impossible. I don't see a single sight of that coming at all.

    If he care, he'll still text and all. Not until i have to ask him something then he asked me how's life and stuff. I do not like it, really. Things turn sour like that how to make it sweet, you tell me?

    JB with grala, wei zhang and kai hoe last night. Car wash and yummylicious supper. Pumped petrol and back to sg. I can't wait for the next trip. Nana aftermath. The guys with their crazy ideas. Me love! I wanna try the abalone noodles the next time. And loklok is a must have. hehhhhhh!

    Meeting them tonight again. I'm gonna take a nap now. There's work tomorrow and i'm still going out tonight. I need to replenish my energy like nowwwwww.

    xoxo,
    fuckofffromyoursight.

Friday, 22 January 2010

  • YAWN!


    Daddy the blur sotong. Woke me up at this hour and told me it's time for work. I fell asleep like an hour plus ago. Now i can't get back to sleep. This is so NICE. ):

    Zombie at work tomorrow again. booooooo!

    I'm still very tired. S came acrossed my mind. I miss him bad. ): I'm gonna tell myself i can do it. Yes! For real.

    D's word hit really hard on me. He asked me why am i shutting myself up? I'm speechless when he asked me that. He's the first person who asked me that question.

    Yes! Going to zouk every week i do make new friends. I turned them down for dinner,movie, coffee. I even told some of them i'm attached. I do not know why the fuck i said that. Some of them are really good catch. I just can't be bothered with anyone of them.

    To me, they're just annoying pest. Ohh yeah! Haven't use pest for the longest. I'm learning to be smart now. Don't wanna get hurt anymore. I'm hurt enough.

    My eyes are half open now. I should go back to bed now. Daddy says he'll wake me up later. Going breakie with him before work. I love you,daddy. ♥♥♥

    xoxo,
    fuckofffromyoursight.

  • NEMO-ING.


    Just got home and decided to rant for a bit before heading to bed. Though i'm really tired but i can't sleep. Veryvery full from supper.

    Met the girls earlier to for coffee in town after work. Monopoly deal can get really addictive. I want more games. hehhh! Poured my heart out to the girls. I don't feel like a human being anymore.

    I lost my feelings somehow. I really don't know how to describe my feelings. If it was easy for me, i would have move on and probably fall in love with someone else. Nevermind about that. I'm not in the rush for relationships. I think it's a burden to me only. hahaha.

    Maybe i'm independant enough to take care of myself. Beside being single after four fucking years and got into truly madly deeply relationship was a good expreience. I'm learning from my mistakes. We're still young. Right, not that young either luh. hahaha.

    I won't be peer pressure by my girls as well. I want a job and settle down with my life. I don't want or need anyone like S to come into my life and tear it apart over and over again.

    Because of him...

    I've stop schooling. Can't concentrate.

    I party like mad. Sick like a weak kid. Drink alcohol like i'm drinking water.

    Bleed myself to know that i'm so kicking alive. Right, even till now i still do that. Sometimes it's really hard for me to control myself. This is the only way to let my feelings out. I've been trying really hard to kick this bad habit away.

    I maybe look strong from the outside but in fact i'm just so effin' weak luh.

    Getting mood swing as if i'm having my period every single day.

    FML!!!

    I told myself i gotta stop doing all these shitt and move on. It's really wasn't easy for me at all. I'm trying each and every way to make my life more happy and healthy. rahhhhhhh!

    Weeping myself to bed every night without fail. Getting drunk is part of it too. Fuck! These are all so so so bad. I need to stop and get myself back on track.

    Like what buddy said "Alcohol makes you happy and sad at the same time." I totally agreed. Sometimes its my happy pills, sometimes its my sad pills.

    Ohh well! All in all my life just suck big time luh.

    xoxo,
    fuckofffromyoursight.

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

  • I CAN'T BELIEVE.


    I can't believe i'm under stress. Stress that i'm giving myself and no one to blame. I'm just thinking too much. So what if i miss you like mad? So what if i wanna have dinner with you for the last time and never want to see you again? There's so manymany so whats and what ifs.

    I'm just trying reallyreally hard not to think much about it. I want to lead a normal like. Sleep and wake up early. Why does it seems to be a very diffcult task for me to do so? I woke up early for work today cos i'll be accompany daddy for his monthly checkup at sgh. Went back after that and worked overtime. Got home so tired and actually fell asleep right in front of the telly. FML!

    And now it's fucking four-twenty in the morning and i still can't sleep. I driving myself to death man. RAHHHHHHHH! Looks like crappyshitts is the place where i can turn too and pen down my thoughts here. I'm so busy till i didn't even talk to anyone. Yes! I would say every single one of them.

    I need retail therapy to make me happy and at least to feel a tiny weeny bit better. I've finally cut down on frosty. So proud of myself. The next thing i'll be cutting down will be alcohol. I wanna be a healthy bitch. Time to hit the beach too. Have yet to visit wavehouse. Yadah! I know i'm sucha noob. ):

    Actually, cos i don't have anyone to go with me. I need to find someone to go with me. I'm missing sun,sand,sea,electro and beer on the beach. It's time to start planning when i'll be free to go.

    Alrighty! I should force myself to bed now. If not i'll be a walking zombie at work later.

    xoxo,
    fuckofffromyoursight.

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crappyshitts

  • Visit crappyshitts's Xanga Site
    • Name: Jasline
    • Birthday: 4/1/1987
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/27/2007

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  • island life, retail therapy, girls night out, bittin' aloe vera bits, cookies.

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Chatboard (33)

  • bunnyrouge
    dar dar dar !!! sorry i couldn't make it tt day =( meet up soon okay ? lovelove
  • bunnyrouge
    growing up is such a chore =(
  • bunnyrouge
    DAR! don't forget im always here for you too <3 do take care yah, nth is more impt than health ... meet up soon <333
  • vandelious
    haha. u can grow old with me tgt! we shell go oversea and stay there kae! lol :D den we enjoy our singlehood life tgt :D
  • vandelious
    when are we meeting up? I missing you tuck loads already! :X
  • bunnyrouge
    relax dar ... i'll be with you <3
  • bunnyrouge
    sure !!! i miss you ... we shall arrange <3
  • crappyshitts
    @bunnyrouge - baron with redbull. LOL! dar, please meet up soon and please don't anyhow spend your pay for next month pay.
  • crappyshitts
    @vandelious - yes sis! i'm having lesson from 9am-5pm later. i'll give you a call or text you.
  • bunnyrouge
    who's your long lost besfriend ? =x